There’s no “aha” moment

Is there?

Don’t think so.

In recovery from Anorexia, I’m seeking guidance from other warriors who’ve battled, and I’m fascinated by seeing why we get this maladaptive coping mechanism, and how to heal from it. 

A reoccurring reply when I ask “how’d you do it?” lies in the concept of slowly, one step at a time, making tiny changes that compound to one day being like #lifesalrightandilovemyself (more- or am working on loving myself.)

I don’t believe in an “aha” moment.

I don’t think one single therapist is going to heal me.

I think it’s slow and it’s a moment to moment awakening to myself. 

Nature is helping a lot: it teaches so much:

Nature teaches us to slow down

Ask for what we need

Be present

Observe our surroundings 

Use our resources 

Use our intuition 

Use our energy mindfully 

Drop facades and strip away identity

Abide to our basic needs 

Quotes are greatnshit but they don’t hit hard like feelings do. I am fighting that damn voice that tells me to eat less, work more, suffer.

Naw brah I don’t need to suffer anymore, things can be easy.

What if I “try on” some buffer weight? This is maybe harmful to say- but I know how to stay skinny…so man if I don’t feel good I know I can change. The magic lies in the concept of self love that brings the healthy weight. The letting go (that got autocorrected to god…) of control and having more buffer to eat around people, share experiences, open my thought real-estate to other things than food preoccupation and exercise (like when I sat with my roomie and actually realized that I don’t mind hearing about her trip and the history of Portuguese culture!)

Suffer less 

Live more

One step at a time. 

One step closer to going out West.

One step closer to getting my period back.

One step closer to helping other people heal from this shit.

One step closer to beating my old Grind Time (cough cough 33:34…onlypostingformyownreminder notcockyatall willthisgetmemoretinderdates)

One love

Some gems of human beings

My future ideal retreat centre in wild outofcellphonerangezone

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