Safe Space

When I’m used to filling space a certain way, it feels safer instead of subtracting that space to undecided emptiness, to fill it with a nourishing substitute.


  • My fasted morning bike is subbed for a short core strength bit
  • obsessive meal prep subbed for simple food and studying
  • second strength session for a walk
  • Walk for a sit with my Addaday massage gun and a podcast
  • Podcast with just sitting and listening to Tara Brach
  • Finally, when I need it, just sitting

Fear body

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I’m having a [shit] day.

Ran yday trails headlamp pouring rain was nice but calf sore at end and foot and was afraid of bones & looking forward to seeing my physio today and she had to cancel bc her doggo strikethrough baby had emerg vet in van (feels for her!!!!).

No tests show that it’s a stress frac but my anxiety is v high not seeing her.

Morning swim had me feeling so drained and some rhomboid/radiating pec tightness (body’s warning sign).

Must ground myself and meet the needs that parts of me feel aren’t met. Must edge slowly towards the fear, beginning in the state of being in India.

I want a “Dumb” watch

Why are all watched now “smart watches”?! I don’t need to know my HR, HRV, blood pressure, mileage, body temp, where Ryan Gosling is in the world, KAREN, I just want to have a damn stopwatch! I run off RPE.


A frustrated old timex user who’s watch has died.(I’m emailing timex to see if they’ll do anything despite the warranty being LONG gone)