Wholefoods catering

I’m doing wholefoods private catering. I impulsively posted on Bunz, and got some interest. On one hand, yaddayadda it’s food-oriented so probs unideal for ED healing, but also it’s honestly a mind-break and a job that 1) feels good to be of service, keeps me busy, and 2) I actually get out of my mind and in a state of flow bc I get to express my creativity through r cope curating and flavour experimentation, and also 3) I make food that I’m challenging myself with

Long term, not ideal as a career choice of mine, but certainly good experience for my future retreat centre, and setting intentions to get bum to BC and up mountains and in lakes n stuff.

Also this no laptop thing is annoying- FWP, but phone autocorrects are hilarious I almost want to uncorrect them for the lols.

Here’s an example of some of the first orders:

The others left me too tired to take pics…le sigh.

Hire me? The food’s yum, right Cor? 

Ps have also restarted meditating and focusing on breath: these two vids are worth it:



Letting Go

Usually, I don’t do this shit: ingredients really are “non-food” items…

“Crab” salad: you know that “flavoured pollock” ūüí©

So much poop in here, solittlecare

But you know what? #yolo and #lettinggo feels better.

Everything in moderation, even moderation is good. If this is my “treat”, then so be it. I really do enjoy this salad, and I really don’t have very much at all bc my body doesn’t like too much (probs knows it has yick stuff in der).

I like a little bit, life’s spicy when you follow your intuition.


Fucking #fearfoods



Bought this from Sorauren farmers market yday bc body said doit (thank you West End Food Co-op, it’s delicious)

Yam (wouldbeeasierifitwaslamb…)
Lentil (scary)
Coconut (yes)
Curry (challo)

Doing it now because #iwantmyperiodback

This ūüí©’s yum

Garden Salad

Feeling purpose in making my mini-catering jobs round Roncesvalles. ¬†Today, I made a big ass garden salad with things I’m scared of: raisins, other dried fruits.

I’m desensitizing myself to peas, and olive oil, and that’s good.

Here she is:

FullSizeRender (4).jpg

Garden Salad:

Salad Ingredients:

Bunch of kale and lettuce
Snap peas, shelled
Green Onion
Fresh Basil
Trail mix: goji berries, raisins, nuts, seeds

1/4 cup olive oil
1 tbsp dijon mustard
1 TBSP each balsamic and apple cider vinegar
Maldon sea salt flakes bc thatshitscooltocrunchon
Italian herb mix

Anyone in Roncesvalles want a jar of salad for lunch? ¬†I’m catering, and I cook with love. ¬†Making these is helping me to heal, too, to feel connected, belonging, it’s strange – eating foods that I make for others. ¬†Treating myself with the care and love that I easily give outwards.


GERD, Bloating, Cramps: that Shit

Drinking wine, working on my website, probably constipated.

All of it, the body rebels so hard when disconnected from it.  Eating disorders thrive on escapism.  Totally feel that.  Exercise is an escape.  Today, I ran for the second time since my stress fracture in January, and man my legs are like lead.  My first run was on Wednesday and it was such bliss until the next day when I work up and this happened: 

Such le merde pain. ¬†I haven’t swam as a discipline for months, because I’m too scared of cold. ¬†My body gets so damn cold because of low body fat. ¬†But I’ve gained some weight, boobs feel better, hey hey hello.

The running, I love. ¬†This pain, sucks. It’s such a different way to live to focus on the living part, instead of controlling food times, and “fitting life in” around that. ¬†It’s so new and hard (thatswhatshesaid)…but it’s right.

I am really keen to hear about other people’s experiences with all the tummy troubles regarding eating disorders. ¬†I have had a chronic run stitch off and on for years when I was running, and it sucks. ¬†I trust intuitively that the cause stems from not listening to my body’s cues etc. ¬†Like today, I asked myself if it would bring me joy to go on that run, and I looked into my eyes in the bathroom mirror and answered “no”…I still ran though. ¬†And ended up walking home after some really fun trail blazing in High Park.

I am in the process of creating an online profile for myself, for eating disorder recovery, mindfulness, awareness, holistic nutrition, yoga, trail running, connection, etc, but I feel isolated and alone. ¬†I know this is my calling, and I know intuitively, deeply that I’m not alone, but I feel it. ¬†Day-to-day I feel like I’m lacking social connection, meaningful connection, and even when I have it, I don’t feel present in the moment. ¬†I’m really sick of food taking precedence over my thoughts. ¬†I know it’s so important, but I guess similarly to media as a tool, instagram and facebook that’ll be “tools” I’ll use as promoting my cause, they are to be used and not abused. ¬†Food’s been abused in my life. ¬†I want to use my knowledge to stop bloating myself, food diluting, feigning the idea that I don’t really know what I need. ¬†I know what I need. ¬†But it’s almost like I feel like I need my life to be so “ideal” that I have to wait till perfection until I “light the match”…. like I need an external condition before I bite the “oatmeal”….

Some good shit that I AM doing (instead of focusing on what I’m not) is writing a challenge list and ticking things off as I go. ¬†One of those things was a burger…did it! ¬†Bunless, albeit, but the patty is still a challenge. ¬†I also ate out at Antler (eating around people is a challenge), and am eating (sometimes…) in between lunch and dinner when I know I need to, instead of convincing myself that the headache is a result of being tired and not low blood sugar. ¬†I’ve also had a promise of a free burger from The Rude Boy Burger¬†for a sponsored burger on the house in my ED recovery journey. ¬†Big bless. ¬†It’s too hot to cook today, maybe it’s the day. ¬†I did a caesar solo on a patio from BQM¬†¬†too. ¬†It was nice.

I wish I had people around me going through this shit to lean on. ¬†I’ve got Jill from A Case of the Jills, and she’s such a sweet spokesperson for Hypothalamic Amenorrhea, and it’s a blessing to feel supported by her. ¬†But in terms of human beings that are here, nah.

That’s that.