ED Warriors Know:

Yesterday, I instagrammed these:

ED Warriors know it’s a different ball game to say #fuckit and change habits. Mind goes all “butthinkofthechildren” aka BUT WHAT IF IT’S NOT THE SAME MACROS AS YOUR BERRY OMELETTE?!

What if it’s got more sugar?

Are apples going to make me lose control?

Do I deserve to sleep in and not cook my eggs?

I’m so damn glad I’m in a space where I can watch those thoughts, and then tell them to fuck off.

These muffins are good. I’ll eat two, thanks. 

With cheese and butter (ghee).

Recipe: from joyfulhealthyeats

CINNAMON APPLE MUFFINS #paleo #forthelikes: Apples have been a #fearfood ish kinda thing and no more are any #fucksgiven so bitchmademuffins #homade.

Recipes to me are like rules: made to be broken. I muddled round with this recipe, used almond and flax, added raisins, cashews, baking pow instead of soda bc #thatswhatihad. Turned out #prettynicelittlesaturday ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿป:

Ingredients

ยฝ cup of coconut oil, melted

ยผ cup of pure maple syrup

1 teaspoon of vanilla

6 eggs

ยฝ cup of coconut flour

ยฝ teaspoon of cinnamon

ยผ teaspoon of baking soda

ยฝ teaspoon of fine sea salt

1 apple -peeled (#nope) and diced (Mel’s modifications here bc don’t tell me one CUP apples – #theydontcomelikethat).

Wholefoods catering

I’m doing wholefoods private catering. I impulsively posted on Bunz, and got some interest. On one hand, yaddayadda it’s food-oriented so probs unideal for ED healing, but also it’s honestly a mind-break and a job that 1) feels good to be of service, keeps me busy, and 2) I actually get out of my mind and in a state of flow bc I get to express my creativity through r cope curating and flavour experimentation, and also 3) I make food that I’m challenging myself with

Long term, not ideal as a career choice of mine, but certainly good experience for my future retreat centre, and setting intentions to get bum to BC and up mountains and in lakes n stuff.

Also this no laptop thing is annoying- FWP, but phone autocorrects are hilarious I almost want to uncorrect them for the lols.

Here’s an example of some of the first orders:


The others left me too tired to take pics…le sigh.

Hire me? The food’s yum, right Cor? 

Ps have also restarted meditating and focusing on breath: these two vids are worth it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Lb5L-VEm34&feature=share

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeiEUMrPXkE&feature=share

Peanut Protein Sauce

I found a peanut protein powder (from Homesense) without ๐Ÿ’ฉin it, so homade sauce for when working outside lunch not needing refrigeration.


Peanut Protein Sauce:

2 TBSP peanut Protein pow 

1-2 Tbsp sesame seeds

1 tbsp flaxseeds

Sriracha, soya, chicken stock (could use Pure Bone broth if you’re on the Best coast…or water, or almond/coconut milk)

Directions:

Dry toast seeds in pan. (I also toasted cumin seeds w it). Add PB pow, liquid. Mix. Yum.

I topped a salad w this and sesame oil dressing and peanuts.

“FINE, body!”

A great athletic therapist I’ve seen once suggested that when my body speaks and asks for nourishment, and my mind rebels- when there is that tug-of-war between my heart and head- she suggested observing my body and reacting with compassion. 

She suggested that I respond by taking a second (like when I hear hunger strike at a “non-delegated meal time”) and responding with semi-exasperated albeit compassionate communication: “fineeee, body, OK, body.” (Minor eye roll)

That helped me put it into perspective, minimizing the struggle of “letting go”. As if it’s some kind of competition and instead of letting my mind “lose”, I just let the body be and surrender.

This helped me when I woke up at 3am famished and didn’t feel like a snack to tide me over- bitchwantedbreakfast…so:

After my abs n shit


I ate: very unphotogenic smoothie so I deleted it.

And then after I did my ride, I lay down for a bit. But was hungry for “lunch”(?????) at like 9!?

Egg avo hummus sesame seeds nooch. Also: my plates usually look like this with an array of condiments around them- I make it simple for most pics but like, secondsaregood.


I guess this is like the “pre-elevensies”…

So that little sentence helps.

I have a job interview today at a fruit market, that’ll be sweet because I am so needing work. 

And probs camping next week in boonies for peace.

Challo ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿผโ€๐ŸŒพ

Can I eat dinner at 4:30?

Yuuuuuup! 

Salmonskinisbae

Egg avo sauce: mooch, almond milk, smoked paprika, salt, Sriracha

Yam Chickpea Curry

Homade curry #bitchdidwha

Thanks, Ange (“oh she glows”…she “glistens”/glows/gluts…glutes?)

Sweet potato chickpea coconut curry


When I bought this from Sorauren Market, it was a challenge. It’s easier to buy these things than make them bc when I make them I skimp on shit freely (sub yam for like, cauli or some shit…) but bub DELIVERED and made this: with ghee bc #OGHEE

have to say…”oh she glows” is a rather irritating name for a blog (sorry Angela #imhonest), although so is “halfbakedunrealist” (SOMEONE HELP me WITH MY WEBSITE IVE BEEN TRYING TO CHANGE THIS ANNOYING NAME FOR YEARS). Buttttt woman has some real good recipes (minus so much soy) esp when trying to eat more carbs.

My house smells great, this curry will be yum. 

Also, instead of the chilli flakes, I used a green chilli that I snagged from the planter at Reunion Island #thanksAdam (againwiththehonesty) #willrepaywithbasilmojito

Didn’t want to do my ride. Legs like “wtf”…Did anyways. One day, I’ll learn.

Wif dem Konjac noodles and cilantro


Also came across two inspirations: Coach Tawnee (this article was amazing in depicting the internal dialogue around food with anorexia…bless) and Tina Muir (fucking fast AS chick and wicked woman, Hypothalamic Amenorrhea overcomer, inspiration, support).

There’s support out there and it feels so good to know I’m not alone.

And this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?ebc=ANyPxKpOVgaIzTAFb0MhpTEVYTRaKw1x0c8iwks-uhqj1-pT5VYkMhLoMdDG0Q3P4eHkWWTwbiRp2s6yuP7iGNsiI1uvgoX6iA&v=S77zUWqawag

Second Breakfast? Lunch?

#isittooearlyforlunch?

Nope.

Ghee- scrambled eggs, avo, jerky, salad


Has anyone read Hunger by Roxane Gay? I’m finishing it. Lots of similarities and lots of differences between under and overeating. Raw and real, but #shedidntreplytomytweet so….๐Ÿ˜‰#noteveryauthorisascoolasRochelleBilow 
What’re you hungry for?

Me? My own love 

Rajasic Restless Rest

Energy release via creative outlet in passing my rest day: culinary blending of le shits

Beef jerky, coconut chips, sundried tomato

Salad topper #veganjustkidding


Beretta farms beef jerky and toasted coconut yum.

Rest is hard but good #thatswhatshesaid

Fear food: ground beef

Scary because it’s all marbled n stuff…whatever though, letting go feels better. #imnocoward

Shanks Rowe Farms for the good sourced, hormone-free ๐Ÿ„

I made dis…



Literally: beef, olive oil, shallots, taco sauce 

I added stuff: avo, konjac noodles, portobello, salad.

#veganjustkidding 

#teamgetmelsperiodback

Butternut Lentils

Mum made this months ago, I was too uncomfy eating it then so I froze it (habit of mine…youshouldseemyfreezer…).

It’s whatever now, and a great, grounding and wholesome lunch bc #teamperiod #Melstruation #HypothalamicAmeNOrrhea #sweetpotbaeto 

Butternut lentil stew with dem Konjac noodle things


Man, fuck Anorexia 

Thetimehascomethewalrussaid.