DatfkninnerDialogueTho…

“Helliptical” gym run gotmelike imletired but I wasn’t le hungry because breakfast was not restricted #greatsuccess

Biking home, inner dialogue:

ED: I don’t need to have the gelatine from yesterday’s goal because I can last till lunch.

Mel: n**** fuck da shi gurl what you sayin!?

ED: ya bitch, you can procrastinate till lunch, woman!

Mel: ima eat you for lunch…

ED: don’t do it right when you get home, you’re sweaty and yick it’s not ok to eat then.

(Fine…that part ‘won’)

Mel: but imma do it after shower.

ED: ya right

Mel: watch me (DID IT)

THANK YOU ORGANIKA, Justin, LEAH!!! Carlie, Lo, Marta, MegJenn, Jess, Mum, Dad, Jenni Schaefer, Sara, Corinne, Ellison,  Liz, Sarah, Kelsi, Jill, Emelie, Barb, Sadie, Lenore, Asha, Jacqui, and so many others but I’m foam rolling ATM so next post I’ll continue with my gratitude list bc it’s so long.

See you on the trails, soon!

My goals and support team fighting this rubbish, bless #Picasso

 

Recovery, one bite at a time

Today I had my appointment with my dietitian, and it was a call to healing. I didn’t think I could be receptive to the idea of getting help when I tried from parental obligations in the past years. Today, I chose it. I need to delegate some of the tasks and hand over control. It’s good.

I have three goals for this month:

1) after my workouts, taking a big spoonful immediately afterwards of Grass Fed Beef gelatine (it’s a “safe food” for me, nourishing, and protein rich. It’ll help me regrow my nails that are falling off – and repair my muscles. It’s small and it’s a start).

Funny thing here is that as I sat to write my blog post, right beside me was lovely Carlie who was sampling grass fed gelatin by Organika. We had a nice chat and connected over our West coast love (she’s from there). I also have saved in my computer an application for brand ambassador for Organika so hey #hireme?


2) the “Two-Bite-Rule”: I wanted to add more protein to meals. I’m struggling with conceptualizing and counting how much in terms of numbers. Jenn doesn’t feel like this is even a good idea to do. Instead, I portion my meal based on intuition for what I think I need (must be careful here…) and then take two extra bites after I’m done. I feel like this is doable, and did it today yes!

3) eat when hungry, fuck my rules of mealtimes.  I used to only eat at specific times but it’s funny how now my what was once “6pm dinner” happened yesterday at like 3:55pm (thank you Justin❤️). To continue this intuitive trusting of my needs.

I mentioned that my tummy gets so upset, and she reassured that with proper nutrition and re-feeding, along will come gut harmony. There are more goals in the future that we plan to implement together in healing, but I’m starting with these because they’re manageable.

Just met a good friend who was so supportive of my recovery. Honestly, it means the world to me from all those rooting for me. And I’ll root for those recovering too. My future retreat centre is going to be pretty phenomenal!