Taking a step back from the monkey mind and stepping out of the cycle of struggle brings huge insight.
This morning had me waking up before my alarm, in parallelled anxiety over my training. I’ve strained my rib probably hard enough to go to the doctor to get an x-ray, but equally pointless because the treatment for any rib injury (break, strain, fracture, sprain) is the same: rest.
I strained my rib from blowing my nose too enthusiastically, apparently…my cold left me phlegmy, and my inability to sit with the discomfort of feeling like there’s a tiny pug napping while slowly sliding down the back of my throat had me blowing and blowing and blowing my nose. So my back seized up after a strain I’m self-diagnosing from my over-active diaphragm.
The inability to sit with discomfort is a never ending cycle – until I choose to end it. I challenged the phlegm, and I’m not challenging this rib pain now. I ran and biked through it yesterday, and suffered. Breathing hurts. So this morning, I didn’t push through a swim, that wouldn’t be enjoyed, for zero training gains.
Allostatic Load of Stress: This means that the cortisol I’d produce by stressing over the pain, paired with attempting to swim in a way to avoid the pain, would negate any training benefits I would gain from actually doing my training session in the pool.
So in taking a step back, in breaking the cycle of my mind’s compulsion of unhealthy habits with stress addiction, I was able to see the wisdom I had all along. The wisdom inside myself got clouded by my mind games of:
- not good enough
- only good when ______
- badge of honour with stress
- stress addiction
Breathing helped (shallow…bc #ribpaintingz), by honestly putting my hand on my heart and feeling what my body needed, not what habits I’d accustomed myself to through years of body dishonouring.
And where has that body dishonouring got me?
Stuck in a pattern.
NOT helping others because I WASN’T living “my truth” or the truth that I condone.
So, I ate breakfast, showered, went for a walk, visited my grampa.
Now, I’m sharing this insight, of the power in taking a step back to view the situation. I’m meeting with a friend who’s helping me with my move out to British Columbia, and I’m speaking with a mentor from my Holistic Nutrition school in New Zealand, a fellow Canadian, and wicked smart woman Michelle Yandle of Michelle Yandle Nutrition for guidance as I continue on my journey as a Wellness Practitioner. I’m so keen to help others through the insight I’ve gained with my own struggles, and what I’ve trained in. I’m also looking for tools from other successful practitioners like Michelle, who’s helped many people not so much through the actual food aspect of Holistic Health, but the encompassing triggers and emotional baggage and meaning behind the food. THAT is The Shit.
Have a sweet day, I’m going to be present as fuck, because the monkey mind comes back with thought suggestions, but I’m going to watch them and choose from a space of wisdom with big picture intention tingz.
Also….I love this song: